Where to Find Me

Thursday, January 6, 2005

When the lie is deeper than I know
You capture me and You carry me home
You see these wounds and rescue me
You always heal things beautifully

And I close my eyes
And You can still my heart
And I call out Your name...
'Cause You always know
You always know where to find me...
You always know
You always know where to find me...

And where could I wander that You wouldn't be?
Whom have I but You who really knows me?
Proven to be the God that sees
From strength to strength You've lifted me...

And I could cry from the depths of the earth
I could stand on a mountaintop
And I can speak Your name out to the wind
And You go before me...
And You fall around me...

'Cause You always know
You always know where to find me...
You always know
You always know where to find me...

~Watermark, Where to Find Me
~~~~~~~~~

I feel kind of lost right now. On the one hand, I know what I want, and on the other hand, I am so afraid of being trapped. For the first time in my life I am not willing to jump through any hoop necessary to obtain something that I have set my heart upon. I think that scares me. I am afraid to hope, afraid to dream beyond what I already have. That is also unusual for me.

I think I am more afraid of being trapped than I can explain, and I'm so afraid of my desire being used to manipulate me into acceding to a will that is not God's.

I don't know whether I should run or fight, or just simply wait... It hurts. I just want to trust that God is going to work in the situation to bring Himself glory, no matter what happens.


God is the only one who knows where to find me in the midst of this fear...

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