Moving On

My office is somewhat bare this morning.

I have three boxes packed with four and a half years of my clutter, ready to leave with me at the end of today. Only my mirror is left hanging on the wall behind my desk. My personal files have been transferred to my home computer.

The office desperately needs to be painted.

I tell myself this so I don't cry over the emptiness on the walls, but I cry anyway. I blame the tears on being pregnant. Women are always more emotional when they're pregnant.

It's time for me to go home. I'm leaving a month earlier than I planned, but I really had too much to do to get ready for Weebix to keep working full time. I didn't think about what leaving would mean until this morning.

I look around my office. I remember conversations with friends after-hours, conversations with people who stopped by during work time. I remember coming to this office as little more than a scared, sick, college drop-out, hoping somebody would actually take a chance on me. I remember dealing each day at the beginning with the pain of losing my first love--then meeting and falling in love with Pete while I was in this office. I remember friendships made and lost, and starting and finishing Free Indeed. I remember fun furniture-moving sessions, and not-so-fun job lessons.

So many of the best and worst times of my life have been lived out in this rather small room. I learned that I could do a job and do it well. I learned to respect others' differences and to value the opportunities that were given to me. I learned to love and to offer grace.

I was surprised to discover this morning how much I love my job. Can anybody do my job the way I would do it? For the first time, I don't feel like I'm trying to measure up. A few years ago, there was nothing more I wanted than to leave. Now, I am so grateful to realize that I am not just "leaving." While I am going to something, I am merely saying goodbye to something that I have come to appreciate and enjoy.

So goodbye, little office that has been my haven for a while. Thanks for putting up with me. Someday, I hope you'll get that window we always thought would be nice to have! Goodbye to my bosses who have been so patient with me, and who were willing to give me a chance to prove myself in this position, even though I didn't know what a "plaintiff" was when I started here. Goodbye to an organization that, while humanly run and definitely imperfect, is used by God in spite of itself. I hope He continues to bless your efforts. Thank you all for being willing to be used in my life as God grew me up.

I think I will miss this.