We are aware that Piper is a bit ahead of her age. She is very bright, quite demanding, and decidedly non-distractible. The 3 1/2 hours of wedding editing that I have left seems insurmountable, because I get only 10- to 15-minute intervals in which to work. At most.
Piper has taken to throwing temper tantrums when she wants something. I can't believe that at 6 months old, she is so sure of what she wants, when she wants it, and why she wants it. This afternoon, she was pitching a fit in grand style, and no amount of explanation as to her mother's indisposition to come right away would appease her. She directed all her 6-month-old fury at me from her position on the floor as I took care of what I needed to do, and when I finally came for her, she refused to look at me.
This is another habit of hers. She ignores people to make her point. "You ignored me, now I'm ignoring you."
I don't know what typical parents do with their children when they throw fits. But as I carried her upstairs with her still crying in frustration, I got a picture of the way that I interact with God.
Often, I want what I want when I want it. I pitch this fit and that fit and try to manipulate Him around to my point of view. When that fails, even as He draws closer to me, I ignore Him. I can hear Him telling me to "Look at Me, Kelly. Look at Me. You'll see how much I love you, even if what I want for you isn't want you want right now."
I settled into the rocker with Piper and prepared to nurse her as she renewed her anger at being put off another 30 seconds. I started to sing a reworked version of B-I-N-G-O that we have made up for Piper.
"There was a Mommy had a girl..."
Her eyes swiveled to meet mine, and suddenly a huge grin broke across her face.
I don't know what goes through her mind, but I'd like to think that she knows when she hears that song that I love her, and remembers that she is mine.
I sometimes hate it when God reminds me that I am His. But in the times when I've been awful to Him, it's nice to hear, "...and Kelly was her name-oh."
1 comments:
It's amazing how much Piper's antics remind me of Lucy's. These days my 10-15 minutes of work don't always come in between tantrums of wanting to be held or given something, but in between cries of, "Lucy, get down from there!" "Don't put that in your mouth!" followed by grabbing her away from something or grabbing something away from her.
But like you said, it's also amazing how often I realize that I do similar foolish things in my relationship toward God. His patience and forgiveness constantly astound me!
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