I don't want to live -- I want to love first, and live incidentally.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

i want to live. to really live. to be free to live. and free to love. i want to dance as if i'm the only one in the room.

that one time, i was harshly denied permission to love. and that second time, it was tried again. and i learned to fight for a right to love, a freedom that was already mine, mine by nature of who i am in Jesus, by nature of the fact that God created me to be in relationship, to pursue the hearts of others as He does, to nurture and to be passionate.

so i fought and i fought and i forgot how to love, though my capacity for it in Him is deeper than i understand. and i tried to live and tried to love and i never touched the depth. and then i stopped trying and learned to live with my mistakes and found i could love as a fool and it didn't matter because that's what He does.

and human me can live and does live and does fall and is loved and restored by a holy God and now i can dance as if no one else is watching.

unless piper is in the room. and then she dances with me and we watch each other and spin together and laugh.


Post a Comment

Talk to me, if you like.