Snow Story

Friday, December 11, 2009

I don't remember much from Piper's first year.

We moved three times. Pete took and failed and retook and passed the Bar. I was buried in wedding post-processing and postpartum depression. My Lyme disease resurfaced with a vengeance. We had so many financial troubles we were trying to work out. We weren't sleeping.

And there were other things on top of it all.

But one day, when Piper was almost five months old, it snowed. And I remember being a mommy.

I bundled her up, and I bundled me up, and I carried her outside where the flakes were coming down large and wet. The parking lot in our townhome division was white. We made the first black footprints in the snow. The neighborhood kids weren't home from school yet.

I looked up, let the flakes come down, hit me in the face. Piper looked up too, then ducked her head back down, flinching at the cold wet. She wasn't sure what to think. She never is, the first time she tries something new. She wants to make sure she is safe. Once she knows she is, she'll try anything.

I giggled. Stuck my tongue into the falling white. Told her to try it. She did. She caught a snowflake on her tiny tongue.

And then we spun in the snow, leaving unsteady black slide marks in the slippery white. Just for a minute, the two of us. Making a memory.

(Image © SXC)


Feather said...

this post has me all excited. you see, i've been working on a post/article/journal entry similar to this. i have three kids, and in the haze and fog of new mommydom and depression, i wasn't able to enjoy the first two the way i've enjoyed the third. love them all, but different experiences.

your post is beautiful in it's simplicity. it speaks straight to the core.

Carrie said...

How sweet! I feel the same way, looking back on Zachary's first two months - I hardly remember any of it - I kind of hated being a mom at that point. Are you kind of scared that it will happen again? I am praying SO MUCH that I will depend on God's grace and His strength to get me through the rough, exhausting weeks, and that I will be able to enjoy my baby this time. I will pray the same for you, Kelly. Thank you for sharing your struggles & your memories.

Avril said...

Beautiful post, Kelly. I like how you captured motherhood when you said you remembered "being a mommy." The feeding, diaper-changing, and disciplining are definitely part of parenting. Those special times, though, capture how God feels about us, I think, and bring the sweetness you can remember later when things aren't as sweet!

Becky@ Daily On My Way To Heaven said...

Memories, Oh memories...what a gift!

Let us make some more today!

Geezees Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

Lovely post...even through dark times comes beautiful memories! Thank you for that reminder!

Emily said...

Kelly, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog!! I am blown away by your honesty and faith in the One. I love hearing your heart! I read this post, and cried! Thank you for brightening my day. Keep writing!

Corinne said...

Such a beautiful moment. Fresh snow always makes me feel a little lighter (even when we have two feet of it already, there's still that moment of lightness).

Jennifer @ Getting Down With Jesus said...

Wow. That was beautiful, Kelly. (Though I've come to expect nothing less.)

Your words etch deep into what I've felt in my own life. That's a gift He's given you -- to find a deeper understanding of Life for those of us who grope for the words to express what we feel inside, but cannot quite utter on our own. Thank you for this. ....

Jessica said...

Love this post. :-)

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