Not Me, Lord…

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

People have been talking to me.

A lot.

Sharing things they cannot share with anyone else.

And I don't want it.

Funny, cause for years all I wanted was the confidence of others so I could try to fix their problems or encourage them or... I don't even know what. I just wanted to know!

Now... I feel kinda like I'm on a pedestal. I just feel alone, and I'm scared. I'm not trustworthy enough to bear their confidences. I don't even know what to DO with them half the time! I don't want to be in this place.

Except, it doesn't seem that God is going to let me run this time.

I feel hard, as if I'm shutting down to people who really need me to connect with them and care about what they're telling me. But I'm blowing apart here! I don't have the compassion or the capacity to comfort, and their pain is ripping me apart. It's easier not to think about it, so I don't.

But now I feel like I can't even reach God.

Lord, please... just help me.


Post a Comment

Talk to me, if you like.