If it Be Possible… Nevertheless…

Not My will, but Yours be done.

Jesus.

My wisdom. My ruler. My Savior. My example. He in whose name I am protected and made one with the Father.

I've been thinking a lot about Jesus over the last several days. About how He tells us to love as He loves, and to remain in His love, abide in His love.

I've thought a lot about letting my attitude be the same as the attitude He held: not trying to be equal with God, but humbling Himself to submit to the Father in obedience even unto death.

This morning, I read about that attitude in the garden at the Mount of Olives. Jesus was overwhelmed with sorrow, so much so that He was sweating drops of blood, so much so that God sent an angel to minister to Him there, so much so that He begged His Father to please let this cup be taken from Him. All things were possible for God, could He please take it?

But no, this was the Father's only way to achieve His purpose for all of us. Jesus Christ could be the only atonement for my sin, for the sin of the whole world. God could not remove the cup from His only Son because He was working out His eternal purpose.

It helps me to remember that. There are things that happen that hurt so deeply that I can only cry about them in the secret places of my heart with my Abba, who loves me so. Thought I know that He loves me and weeps with me, he doesn't always take the trials away. I think He has a higher purpose: to show me how to weep with Him, and to allow me to enter into Jesus' sufferings.

I want to please my Father's heart. He's all I have, my reason for living. But I don't always know how to do that, and I often find myself complaining about my lot. But when I look back at Jesus, and see what He suffered for the sake of His Father's heart--God so loved the world--how I can do less than submit to my Father's will?

I want to follow His example. I want to be like Him. He chose me and set me apart for His holiness, and I am changed when I look upon Him.
God, I don't know why all of this stuff has to happen--but I am thankful for the love that You have given me, for it is not my own. Please... if it be Your will, You know my desires--they are laid out before You... Nevertheless, not my will, but Yours...