Tuesday, February 15, 2005

I'm waking up.

So yeah, I just took a nap. My very kind boyfriend lent me the use of his beanbag on my lunchbreak today, and I got to sleep for half an hour.

But there's more to that comment about waking up than a physical awakening.

Something inside of me that I thought had died is starting to wake up again. Something called love. Something called life. I don't know what it all is about, but I think it's got to be from God.

The last couple of days, I've just been too tired to try to stress about anything. I can't seem to figure out what is going on, and I sure as heck can't control it. But I've been praying. Have you ever tried praying helplessly?

I have some praises!

First, the weekend with Pete's parents went really well! They came with questions and doubts and left excited--I think I've gotten to make some new friends! They even hugged me when they left! That was kind of exciting for me, but wouldn't have been exciting at all for my sister, who wished me a good rest of my "Mush Day" yesterday. She's not all about the lovey stuff. But she's cool.

Second, we were really worried that our wedding date wasn't going to work because it would be double-booked with a wedding that Pete's sister's husband was in. Pete was like, "We ought to go ahead and pick our date anyway," but I decided that I would try and try and try to trust... I must have begged God every time I thought about it, to let that wedding be some other date than the one we had picked, and it WAS!!! And on top of that, even if it was on our date, Pete's brother-in-law's commitment to the wedding was conditional on our date! Which was just a miracle!

Third, Pete woke me up this morning with his usual call, and he was freaking about a class that he hadn't been taking and thought he had to take this semester. There wasn't much I could say, so I tried to encourage him, hung up the phone, played the piano for a while, and prayed. Then I went out and bought him some strawberries for breakfast, and went to work. He still wasn't doing well, so I kept praying that God would just pick him up and encourage him. This morning, it sinks in for Pete that I actually love him! That was neat. But the special part came this afternoon, after he called his professor and found out that he was fine about the class!

Fourth, Free Indeed sang in Chapel this morning. God switched the song on me on the way down. "Oh no, God. You wouldn't do that." Oh, yes I would... The song we switched to reads as follows:

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is holy
Be still oh restless soul of mine
Bow before the Prince of Peace,
Let the noise and clamor cease.

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He is faithful
Consider all that He has done,
Stand in awe and be amazed
And know that He will never change
Be still.

Be still... Be speechless...

Be still and know that He is God
Be still and know that He's our Father
Come rest your head upon His breast
Listen to the rhythm of His unfailing heart of love
Beating for His little ones
Calling each of us to "Come, be still."

It was very cool. Free Indeed didn't use microphones. Everyone in chapel was still. It was so quiet. I could tell that the Holy Spirit was present. Which was just plain comforting.

God is so good.

I am so glad that I am waking up to remember that again! I forget how worthy He is to be praised. I even forget how to praise Him!

He is faithful in the little things, and in the big things, and in the everythings!


My Fathers' Daughter said...

hehe. Yeah, that was so awesome :-) (the FI part, I mean:-p)

David Sessions said...


sounds like i missed out.


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