Written Out

Wednesday, March 2, 2005


Why I am writing a blog post today is beyond me. I have written and written and written for the last couple of days. I don't have anything profound left to say. I am wrung out and written out.

So I'm getting on here to write a bit of nonsense for a change. Just because it's fun. And non-stress.

I have a fiancè who buys me M&M's, and I hate chocolate. (really.) I have a sister who is going shopping with me tonight, because I need jeans that FIT--so I don't have to keep bugging other people to let me wear their clothes, like I did to Ash yesterday. She's a great sport... I can't figure out why she decided that I was cute, instead of the actual crazy person that I KNOW I am.

I also have to get shoes that fit. How in the world do I stretch out my legs and at the same time drop my shoe size from an 8 to a 7? Good grief. Just when you think you know... Pete says that it could be because of the blue light from my alarm clock. I personally think he's reaching for an explanation, no matter how absurd. I guess I could be grateful that he's not talking about torture by llamas or resizing by crocodiles.

I just sent off an 8-page letter (longer, if the font is not 10-point, but who's counting) to a couple of people, basically asking them to quit judging me unless they want to take it up with God. He's pretty much the only defense I have to offer them, because they're pretty much right about the fool I have been and the wrong I have done. Except, God forgave me for it, and I'm not too scared to stand in Him. I mean, He's the point of my life, you know?

How do things get so complicated? You start out viewing the world as a child, believing that your Abba is firmly in control--and then reality gets shoved in your face, whether you want it or not. I don't think it's burying my head in the sand or being naiive, though, to lay claim to the strong forgiveness and mercy promised because of Jesus' death on the Cross. So I have, I did, and I will. Maybe that's not complicated enough. Hmm... I could get bitter first and then have to work through everything that I just want to forget about... *grin*

Okay, I'll get off it.

I'm sending off gifts to Pete's family this week, trying to keep up with work and emails, and trying to figure out WHAT kind of judgment my boss wants me to decide upon. I guess I'm kinda worried that I'm going to completely mess up here at work and make a bad decision. *wry grin* It wouldn't be the first time, I guess; I just don't trust myself with that much responsibility. Still, there is the idea of not burying even the small thing in the sand that God has given me to steward.

Oh, and I'm going home this weekend for a sob fest with my mom, who is finally realizing that I'm getting married. NOW she decides to think about the reality of it. She doesn't have a clue what a mom is supposed to do at a wedding. I don't either. I think it will be really fun, though. Which reminds me. I need to call her. I need directions to their new house.

So, to all you curious peoples out there, these are the deep thoughts of Kelly for today. Or something. The nicely surface ones that just come out because my fingers are in the habit of typing.

"Oh, how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear You, which You have prepared for those who trust in You in the presence of the sons of men!"
~Psalm 31:19


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