one shot

Friday, January 27, 2006

I found this today on another blog, Little One, and I thought I might post it so that I remember it. :-)
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I'm still trying to figure out how to say this, so bear with me (it's pretty late, too, so I make no guarantees that this will make perfect sense).

I keep coming back to this thought of only having one shot at raising my kids. We really only get one chance to be a parent to them. This time right now is never replayed--you can't record it, TiVo it, download it, or check out the source code of this time with them, and then change it in their memory or yours. We get one shot at raising our kids and then it's done.

I will father them for a little while and then they will go through a transition where they begin to take real ownership of their decisions, become their own person, forge their identity. That is when our relationship will change ... they will make the decision to continue to be fathered by me or not. A lot of that will depend on how I have done until that point. This transition will bring in a new aspect into the father-to-child relationship: friendship. They move from being "just the kid" to being so much more. It's a friendship based on history and trust and lots more things I don't understand. It's a brand new era. But it starts now, with the raising of them.

We only get one shot at it. So my philosophy is that, at any given point, I want them to feel love. Whether I'm feeding them, correcting them, disciplining them, playing hide and seek with them, dancing, singing, walking, talking or running around the house with them, I want them to feel love.

I only get one shot, so I'll take my chances with love.

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