Wrestling...

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

~Ephesians 6:12-13

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Last night, Pete woke me up from a nightmare to beat all nightmares. I hadn't had one that bad in years.

The dream was so vivid, I believed that I was conscious. The colors were dark, and there was shadow all around me. In each scene of the dream, there was a palpable fear that deepened as the "plot" thickened.

Finally, I could no longer take the fear. In my dream, I was trying to scream at the fear. Again and again, I chanted, "In the name of Jesus Christ, in the name of Jesus Christ." The fear was paralyzing. I couldn't get my mouth open, but I forced the sound through my lips anyway. Again and again, and finally, "You can't make me stop!"

Then Pete woke me up because I'd been talking in my sleep.

The dream was an intense reflection of the spiritual battle that has been going on in my heart lately. It vividly portrayed the false realities I've tried to create to escape the fear instead of resting in the love of God in Christ Jesus--and showed me how much more vulnerable I have been to the attacks of Satan while I've been trying to escape into those worlds I try to create.

As the remnants of the dream wore off in the lamplight of our room, I picked up a book that I've been reading. Oddly enough, I had left off on the chapter about spiritual warfare. My reading began in the section about the breastplate of righteousness, and by the time I was finished, I realized that I had also been trying to hide from confessing some sin in my life. Why? I didn't believe God's Word that nothing can separate me from His love. So I went to Him quietly in the dark hours of the morning, and told Him about my sin. I asked Him to help me remember that my righteousness is not my own.

My verse for the day was the verse I posted above.

I am so thankful that God has so taken hold of my heart that my spirit instinctively turns to Him to cry out the name of Jesus, even in my nightmares. I haven't wanted to look at the darkness, but I can't just turn my back on it and hide from it without being bathed in the light of Jesus Christ. The battle with depression I've been fighting lately is a losing battle if I don't fight it in Christ.

I would really appreciate prayer from any of my fellow warriors who would stand with me in Jesus against the powers and principalities. I want to live in His light, not drown in my own "remedies" and justifications.

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What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written: “ For Your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”

Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~Romans 8:31-39