By Way of Conviction

"God is mean," I explained to Pete over AIM this afternoon. "But not mean enough."

My verse of the day finally came in after a stoppage on incoming email this morning. The email included, as usual a thought and a prayer and read as follows:

VERSE:
For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
~John 3:20-21

THOUGHT:
Truth is seen in what it does and whom it seeks. Let's live as children of light and seek after the Father who dwells in indescribably glorious light so we might be the light of the world.

PRAYER:
Father of every heavenly light, I ask you to correct me gently as I place myself, my imperfections, failures and sins in your presence. Forgive and cleanse me by the blood of Jesus so that I might be spotless and holy and blameless in your sight. O Lord, I don't just want to be forgiven; I want to be useful to you and your church. Please help me find my way to usefulness. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

I sat and stared at the computer for a moment, letting the reproof sink deep. I knew it was coming eventually. Here it was from God, pointing out that I don't want to talk about the light because I'm afraid that it will expose some deep hidden sin. I don't want to talk about Him, because I would rather pridefully justify my own sin than humbly confess it. Geez, Kelly. What is so hard about asking for forgiveness?

I decided to check the context of the verses, because the thought and prayer included with the verse left me wondering if there was more to the passage--you know, about being useful for the church and all that. If I was going to get convicted, I figured I better get it good. I need a good talking to once in a while.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
~John 3:16-21

Oh, great. Salvation passage. Doesn't apply. Then the words, "and this is the condemnation" caught my eye.

And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

Christ wasn't simply talking to any unsaved man-jack on the street. He was talking to Nicodemus, a Pharisee. He was explaining that light had come into the world--Himself, Jesus Christ. The Pharisees hated Christ. He was explaining that those who don't come to Him don't want their sin exposed or reproved. And then He explains that those who come to Him come to bring their deeds into the light--not because they are good deeds, necessarily, but because they have been brought into the light and redemption of Jesus Christ!

He is offering forgiveness.

Why me? Why would He do that for me? I'd rather offer penance and beat myself up and die "surrendering" my will than confess my sin before a loving God and be freed from my shackles! I can be mad and avoid the light of a God who just wants to slam me when I mess up, but I can't help but respond to a God who wants to forgive.

He's always more than we think...