What Miss Muffet Didn't Try

(Or, The Spider Who Once Lived in My Iron)

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet away.

When I was growing up, Miss Muffet always struck me as an incredibly cowardly little girl, yet I couldn't help identifying with her fear of spiders. (My family will verify this phobia with many funnyish stories.)

I decided sometime in my teens, however, that I was going to have to be big about this entire spider issue. As there were no imminent prospects for any Dashing Hero to come and rescue me from my fears, I straightened my internal shoulders and declared war on the bug world. When confronted by one of the creatures, I would allow myself no more than an initial "Eek!" before ending its offending existence.

Since being married, I think I have enjoyed the Dashing Hero mentality more than I have realized. Yesterday, I found myself at home, sans-Dashing Hero, confronted with Miss Muffet's nemesis. Only instead of attempting to steal my food, this little spider had taken up residence in my iron and was quite determined to remain there.

For a moment or two after my initial "Eek!" we eyed one another suspiciously, me towering over the iron, he perched territorially on its tip, each daring the other to make the first move.

Miss Muffet's cowardly flight entered my mind as an option. I'm not sure he worried at all about changing his place of residence. I wished for Pete to be home to take care of the offender. I think he wished to be left alone.

Finally, in a fit of agonizing practicality, I reclaimed my iron and the spider perished. I will not stop to wonder at his last thoughts.