People Who Matter

Monday, November 12, 2007

Mark Schultz has a song entitled, Remember Me, a song that is essentially a letter from the people in a church who invested their lives in the children in the church. Schultz, a youth leader himself, sings, "Remember me when you're old enough to teach, old enough to preach, old enough to lead..."

And age to age, and heart to heart, bound by grace and peace, Child of wonder, child of love - I've remembered you, remember me...

Our recent move shook my world to the point that I was forced to look back over my last few years of intentions - Intentions to enjoy our home, to decorate this, to have this person over or see that person or write this letter or call them. As I was sorting through years of junk, I discovered notes and photos of people that I forget in the day-to-day.

One phone call the week we moved in put a zoom lens on my perspective. I found myself nose to nose with a Kelly that I used to be, and that Kelly didn't really like the me she'd become. Driven by expediency, haunted by my failed obligations, I have largely forgotten that I was the girl who worked for free in an antique shop when I was in high school. I have forgotten the hours I spent helping my grandmother garden, and the time I put into the tassels on her netted canopies. I've forgotten how I became an adopted daughter to an older couple during my first year of college. I was so stressed and busy about my wedding that I missed the people who came that were so much a part of my life when I was little.

These people invested in my life. I often wonder if they would like the person I've become if they saw me now. Instead of a simple life based on mutual trust and respect of others, I live a somewhat complicated, sophisticated sort of existence that leaves no time for the simplicity I once treasured. And at the end of the day, I'm lonely. The friends I wanted have their own lives and simply aren't here anymore. I don't really have anyone who invites me to do stuff or cares what I do or how I'm doing. My dearest friends are miles away from a daily visit.

The phone call I received was from the woman who owned the antique shop where I worked. She remembered my health troubles, and shared with me how she would never get rid of the story I wrote one day while I was sitting at the counter of her shop. She updated me on the health of one of our favorite customers, who still asks about me every time he comes in. She wanted to know all about Piper, and about Pete, and about my life now. I hung up, my life sharply in focus.

I have moved on in many ways, but in some places in the world, I think time stands still. And there are people who love me, and people who matter. They gave me so much. I pray that there is still time to appreciate them for what they have given me.


nic said...

What you said makes a lot of sense - there are so many things in my own life I have let slip because I'm just "busy".

Not that I knew the girl in high school or anything, but for what it's worth, I like the person you are right now. =)

Kelly Sauer said...

That's worth a lot, Nic - thanks! I think I used to be more considerate than I am now; I'm so amazed at how self-centered I can be!

Mark and Erin said...

Hmm. Well, I would love to get together with you and do things! And we aren't too far apart. :-)

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