All Grown Up?

Sunday, January 13, 2008

I've been thinking a lot recently about what I want to be when I grow up. Or rather, what I wanted to be when I grew up. I've been realizing that I'm technically grown up now. I'm not just a little kid or a high schooler or a college Freshman or a college grad looking out at a world full of endless possibilities.

I've been through a lot of major life changes in the last few years. I guess this sort of change leaves you thinking about who you are and what you really want out of life.

When I graduated from high school, I defined success as knowing God. I think I'm still seeking that goal - but I'm okay with that. It's a day-to-day thing. But it's hard not to feel like I'm running out of time for the other stuff.

I love being a photographer. I loved working as Jim's litigation assistant. I love being married to Pete. I love being Pip's mom. Most of the time.

But I would still like to be a writer. I would still like to have a ministry - maybe emailing with people about God. I still have a story to tell. I still want a little house in the country with a couple of acres, at least one large tree in the front yard, a front porch swing, and a picket fence (which we would build, of course, because it might not be there when we buy the place).

I don't know what's stopping me. I'm grown up now. I can do it anytime I want.

Man. I still feel like a little kid.


Anonymous said...

I posted once or twice a while ago, but anyways, I'm a student at Purdue, and somehow I came across your blog, and I just want you to know that God has used it again and again to encourage me and teach me at just the right time. When you write about ministry- I want you to know your blog is a ministry to me.
-Josie :)

Kelly Sauer said...

Josie - thanks. I wasn't expecting any real comments on this post, but I so appreciate your encouragement. A major love language for me is words of affirmation - you just totally made my day!

Jessica said...

Amen to the above comment! Your blog has regularly ministered to me -- whether because of a spiritual lesson you posted that reminded me of something I needed to learn, or simply because it's good to know I'm not the only one who experiences certain mothering woes! :-) Thank you for keeping up with your writing. It is always an enjoyable read with an encouraging word, and I think that if you never write anything more "prestigious," this will have been ministry enough.

Tricia said...

Jessica said it beautifully! Besides your testimony as a wife and mother, you definitely do have a ministry here!

Chismville said...

Kelly, you make me cry the way you so eloquently describe desires and life. I think still being (feeling) kid gives our adult longings a happy home in which to dwell!

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