When Life Isn't What I Want

Thursday, January 10, 2008

"In Philadelphia last week I said these words out loud to my friend and traveling companion: "Lets have an adventure." They were forced words, meant to blunt the fact we were in an uncomfortable spot, trying to find our way and lacking enough information to make good decisions. It was a self pep talk, intended to give me a higher purpose. An adventure, after all, is transcendent. Then we got on a subway packed tighter than Daisy Duke's shorts, rode approximately four blocks, got off to make a change to a trolley which we were guessing would take us the right direction (said trolley taking off so fast once we were on that I somehow managed to smack my front teeth on the handrail - how I did this I'll never know), and came out of the city's underworld into its upper-underworld in the red light district in front of three adult bookstores complete with blinking, posing, flashing neon burlesque figures. It was then we discovered we were not closer to our destination, and had to get our bearings again before moving on. Confused, aggravated, my mouth hurting, I thought I no longer wanted an adventure. Just at the moment I needed transcendence most I fell into the immediate. After regrouping and heading on toward our destination it dawned on me that you can't really choose an adventure as much as you can choose to accept what happens as an adventure. We have the choice of transcendence or immediacy, not the choice of pain or not pain. There is no such thing as a pain -free, convenient, clearly delineated life, there is only the choice of finding something behind the pain, the mistakes, the fog and the confusion. Something higher, something worthy. It took three city blocks to find it again, but I did. Then I could breath again. Then I could laugh. Then I could see what it was about."
~The Choice of Adventure, Alt-City, Jan. 1, 2008

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing."
~James 1:2-4

"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!"
~Psalm 27:13-14


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