But He Gives Good Things, Too...

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I feel schizophrenic right now, caught between the me I am and the me I'm becoming in Him. If I'm going to share about the things He allows that leave me sobbing and broken-hearted (see yesterday's post), it's only fair to Him that I post about the things that He gives that bring me joy.

Pete and I have been longing to walk by faith. Since learning the Bar results in November, we have been aware that much of our security and hope for the future lay in Pete's passing the Bar. Instead of moving into that well-planned future we were expecting, we found ourselves going through the whole Bar process again, and this time, Pete took a month off work without pay.

This left us a bit short for March.

"God will provide," we said to each other. Yeah, right, we started to feel.

I had a little income from a wedding I'm shooting this weekend. Kate paid us her rent. But we were racking up bills for necessities on the credit card and wondering how we were going to make ends meet.

It started with a letter from a friend of Pete's that began, "I do feel led of the Lord to give to you..." Then on Saturday, I received a very unexpected gift when I sang the national anthem for a political event. That afternoon, I received two checks for my birthday. Monday, we brought in Saturday's mail (we're rather bad about checking our mail) and there was a check from the town reimbursing us for our hotel stay the night of the flood in our basement. We received another check yesterday, and Pete's dad pointed out that we are eligible for a child tax credit, which should bring another thousand dollars back on our tax return.

From Pete's first, "I don't know how to accept this" to yesterday's, "I think God is providing for us," I have known that this is God working in our lives.

I own a cautious joy in the midst of the loss I am feeling, for I think this is a taste of Him, a small start to what it means to walk by faith and live in Him.

After all, the peepers did sing with the rain coming on, and the breeze did blow with the scent of spring. And He knows how much I absolutely love it...

"So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

"Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things."

~Matthew 6:28-32


em said...

He does give good gifts to his children. I was remembering that this weekend, too.

Anonymous said...

Kelly--Thanks for posting this! It came at an opportune time for me to read it! It's good to remember that He is faithful, and it's good for me to carry that in my heart! :) Thanks for the encouragement!

Tricia said...

That's soo cool, Kelly! God knows our needs before we ask Him!

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