You Have Done It Unto Me

Saturday, May 24, 2008

I don't often think of "the least of these" as people that really get under my skin. I usually consider them to be "the poor" or "the handicapped," etc. But though I want to see others through the eyes of the Spirit, I often completely miss what He sees because of my own impressions and frustrations with others. This weekend, I'm starting to see that "the least of these" sometimes includes those who I don't always like.

I was doing the good thing in letting Pete go out of state for a friend's wedding. I felt like God was asking me to submit to Pete when he told me that he felt God leading him to go. I've been patting myself on the back for being so self-sacrificial for this person who really isn't worth my giving up my three-day weekend with my husband. Of course, I expect him to grovel and thank me for it, though I know he will never thank me enough for being such a saint.

Ick. I don't like me.

Pete called last night to tell me that this guy's family loves Pete. And they know about me and about Piper and they have offered so much hospitality and gratitude to Pete for being involved in his friend's life.

Pete is seeing how God has used him, however unintentionally, in someone's life just because he was available to Him.

I am seeing just how unavailable I have been.

How many times have I just dismissed or ignored someone that I didn't think liked me or that I didn't like myself? How many doors have I slammed shut in the Spirit's face? How can I think that all the people God will call me to love will be desirable to me? How often have I missed something God would show me through someone who rubbed me the wrong way?

That cup of cold water is not expensive. It's not even sacrificial. I ought to know this stuff. My dad wrote a song when I was little that I have used against so many people to try to convict them to love with God's love. I don't remember the last time I thought about the lyrics as they applied to me.

If we could love as the Savior loves,
We would give as He would give.
We would share as He would share.
We would live as He would live.
And we'd share His love with everyone.
We would lend a helping hand
And we'd look for fallen sheep of His
Help them on their feet to stand.

Come you blessed of the Father,
And receive His kingdom come,
For you fed Me when I hungered,
Gave Me drink when I had none,
Had a welcome for a stranger,
Saw My rags and gave Me clothes,
Came to see me in my illness,
And in prison gave me hope.

I am heartily ashamed of myself.

I miss my husband this weekend, but I am glad he is where God wants him. It amazes me to watch the Lord bless him for his tender, open heart. I do not deserve him. But then, Pete saw me as one of "the least of these" too. This is the man I love, and the man who loves me.

This is what I get for asking God for a man after His own heart. He'll love Him first. And you know, the more I see Pete love Him and trust Him and follow Him, the more I want to love Him more.

God, change my heart.

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