I Am Learning about Hope

True hope is based in faith.

True faith is based in the absolute assurance that God has said something and He will do what He has said.

So when I hope, my hope is sure.

It's rather like thinking in circles, isn't it?

Take, for instance, a very strong sense I had about two years ago that God was going to provide Pete with a job. Not only that, but He let me in on it. "I want you to trust Me to provide him a job."

I started out well, I think. Two years ago, we didn't have a baby and Pete wasn't working as a floater and training his replacement. Two years ago, I didn't have the sick feeling in my stomach that I have now. You know, the one that reminds that "we're not making enough money here. We need to get a new job, now." Trusting God to provide a job was easy then.

Pete has been sending out his information. We've heard nothing (and I mean absolutely NOTHING) at all from anyone. He's wondering if he's completely underqualified. I'm wondering what is wrong with the world. I've been searching Craigslist and careerbuilder.com for anything that looks remotely possible. Still nothing has surfaced. God doesn't appear to be providing anything.

Every day, Pete grows more stretched. I grow more afraid. Sometimes, I am in the moment and it is all right to live where I am. And sometimes, I am all over the Web (as time and Piper allow) looking at housing prices, trying to find something - anything - to dream about for our future.

But God is working in Pete's heart, reminding him that he is working for the Lord. And this afternoon, God asked me if I remembered that He wanted me to trust Him to provide that job.

"Sure, I remember God. Was that even You?"

"Do you trust Me?"

The answer? I don't know. I want to. The hardest part about trusting Him to provide right now is that He may provide the job, but not the "happy ending" I want so much.

Yet that is where my hope is sure. It may not be tomorrow that I have my happy ending. Pete may land a job that stretches him even more than his current job. I may not be able to treat the lyme the way I need to right away. We may not get to buy that house I've been dreaming about.

But God says He will provide. We pray for our daily bread, and remember that He cares about the sparrows and gives good gifts to His children. In the end, the real end, every hope and every dream I have will be fulfilled in Him, regardless of the things that didn't fit my idea of what my story should have been.

He says He is enough.

Today, I sure hope that He is.