A Little December Randomnity

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

FYI: The doorknob has nothing to do with anything. I just love this photo of the doorknob to our bedroom. More chipped paint in our old used house and all that.

And yes, the blog has a new look. Sorry. Sort of. My blog. Christmas has come and gone, and so has fall, and I doubt we'll be seeing winter before spring. My mood is up, and my blog is going bright again before I bury myself in wedding editing next week. We're off to New Orleans this weekend for a wedding shoot in the deep south.

I also have to toss out another randomish redirect to Shutter Sisters, where guest blogger Jen Lee had some really good things to say about the way we try to improve on our lives because we want more than what is real.

I don't think that Jen's perspective comes from a "Christian" worldview, but what she says is so true. I've been telling people that God has been teaching me how to be human, so that I can praise Him simply by being what He created me to be - not trying to be a little god, but a human woman who walks with Him and learns about how to live in the world He made from Him.

After years of trying to figure out how to get my life into a perfect box, I can really appreciate what Jen says about telling it like it is - not making it up so that it looks like what we want.

I believe that God does give us gifts and life to enjoy here, but I'm not really sure what to think anymore about how we can arrange for those by good behavior or "wise" decision-making. The gifts we receive are, I think, the overflow of His goodness, not the measure of His love or our own righteousness.

The more I learn about letting my life be real, the more alive I feel. Sure, I didn't marry Prince Charming and move to Happily-Ever-After. My life "photos" are often fuzzy and blurred, and I want to adjust the lighting and saturation so it will look amazing. But as I told a friend in an email recently, I am what I am, where I am. And God is too. And while He never changes, He is so deep that knowing Him isn't something I have to edit up so it looks better.

I wonder if this means that I am learning to be content?

I talked to God this morning. Told Him I hadn't really thought to talk to Him over the last couple of busy days. I told Him I've been talking about Him again - at least in writing. Of course I knew He already knew that.

My question lately has been what does He want me to know of Him today? I haven't had an official "quiet time" in a long time, but having a relationship with God makes me want to take those evening garden walks with Him that He used to take with Adam and Eve. Somehow being with Him makes life more bearable. He doesn't fix all my issues when I dump them on Him, but He's still there. And I sense His smile when I tell Him how I love something He has given or something He has done.

Okay, that's all for now. Thanks for bearing with my bits of random!


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