she speaks - of where the light is

"That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of life — the life was manifested, and we have seen, and bear witness, and declare to you that eternal life which was with the Father and was manifested to us — that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write to you that your joy may be full.

"This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you, that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all." (1 Jn. 1:1-5)

After days upon days of clouds and rain, I am always captivated by light, in any form - the our living room Christmas lights, the play of light and shadows anywhere, sunspot flare, or the glow of a fading sunset.

I never get tired of the light, how it so beautifully reveals what I would not have seen otherwise. It brings a magic of its own to everything I shoot. This is my meditation today, the wonder of the Word Jesus who is the Light of Life, and the beauty that He brings to what I am and have and do.

This is my reason for writing, the drive behind the passion I that pour into my art - to bear witness to the Light, to declare to you what I have seen and heard, so that your joy may be full, as I am finding mine to be.

I write from where I am, speak as Paul spoke of his struggles in Romans, weighing and pondering and processing the transformation that is occurring in me as my mind is renewed by His Spirit. I write so that I will remember what He is doing, to try to grasp the reality of this faith that I find so solid. I write to encourage my readers, to give to you what He is giving me, to live my life before you in simple, godly sincerity in such a way that He may somehow reveal Himself to you through His work in me.

I cannot say everything. I cannot include every verse, every reference, every experience, every nuance of what He is doing in my life in every post I write. As John said, there are not enough volumes in all the world to hold what He has done and continues to do and reveal.

There is a conference scholarship contest my blog friend Emily advertised yesterday. I would like to win this scholarship, to meet and fellowship with some of the women who have encouraged me in this way, to learn to speak more boldly of Jesus to you, to gain some practical training and ideas about how I may better communicate this Light that captivates me.

This "She Speaks" Conference is being hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries, the name of which would have made me quite nervous not too long ago. The conference, which is being held in North Carolina this summer during the weekend of July 31 - August 2, offers three tracks - a speaking track, a writing track, and a ministry leadership track, and I would like to try either the speaking or the writing track - I think both could help me grow so much, help me understand more than I know now.

God has given me a passion for His people, and I so want to share all the fullness of Him that I know with my readers. I love that I get to try to do that here, and that so many of you offer grace for my imperfections and understanding for my "not-there-yet." I love that so many of you let me know that He used something I said here to encourage you. It is my call, to encourage and build you up in Him with the gifts He has given to me. And I have to thank you for trusting Him in my life, and thank you too for speaking into my life as He has led you.

Whether I win a scholarship or not, I want my readers - and everyone with whom I come into contact - to know and enjoy the fullness of His Life, Life that I am finding every day more and more. Here, I give you according to the grace that is given me. Here, I choose to invest what He has given me wildly and passionately to see what return the Master will bring, for I know He works where I do not know ("even in an economy that seems to be falling apart," she says with a wink and a smile).

I always pray that as my readers "listen" to my voice, you do hear His through the muddle of me. I know the women judging the scholarship contest will be praying about the winner as well. I can't really afford to attend if I don't win, but I know I can trust God with the decision - He knows what He has for me to do, and where He would like me that weekend. I'm willing to wait and see what He does!