capacity

I'm already experiencing some foggy pregnancy brain - we caught Button's presence a little later than we caught Piper's - and some morning sickness and some blood sugar variations. Two weddings and traveling will throw the whole schedule off, and as we were making out a calendar this morning to try to figure out where we were on the whole thing, I decided I'd probably better write down the things I want to remember, or I'm going to forget them - the days feel like eons right now!

On the one hand, I'm so ready to be holding this baby in my arms, and on the other, it's slowing sinking in and becoming real that there is a baby inside me. I have such a peace about this - about sharing it, about living it, about embracing it. I'm already talking to Button - something I didn't quite know how to do with Piper until I felt her moving inside me.

I went out shooting this morning before Pete and Pip woke up, and as I was walking back to the house from this lovely find, I told the baby I didn't know how I would ever have the capacity to handle loving one more person - it takes so much of me already to love Pete and Piper and others in my life! I know that it must be a miracle, that only God is going to be able to expand my human heart to reach past me to the hearts of the ones I love most dearly.

It feels like I'm just saying that right now, but then, I sure didn't dig up the extra happy feeling that is getting aimed at Button and at Piper and at Pete and at the world in general right now... I guess it comes a day at a time, filtered through my humanity and spread out by a grace I cannot comprehend.