Tuesday, July 7, 2009

I know it is summer,
But I am wrapping Christmas gifts
and watching autumn leaves fall
and hoping for snow,
just like always.
I am living in a house I love
with weather that is cool and clear
and I am happier there than I am here,
aren't I?

At least, I imagine I am.

If all my dreams come true,
from cool autumn sunsets
and a front porch swing with apple cider,
to white Christmases
and soft cool springs
to green grass and real trees
and the things I've grown up loving
surrounding me,
I can be content.

At least, I imagine I can.

But homesick will always be my coming home;
sometimes my dreams aren't meant for me.
It is in this longing
that I groan
imagining happy that is not mine
desire thwarted by a larger Heart who knows
my peace is Him,
and He will never leave me nor forsake me.

And I imagine He is enough
but it hurts sometimes because I am here
and I cry a lot
because He doesn't look like what I want.

But He knows what I cannot imagine
and He says He is more than that
and hope that is seen
isn't hope at all.

So faith is more than I imagine
not blind leaping in the dark
but sure enough so I can walk
and weep
and ask with open hands
and hear God's loving "Wait"
and I do not despair
of His goodness to me.


Alethea Jordan said...

Ehh....can I join you in that first part?? =) (Sorry, I know that wasn't the point, but now *I* want autumn and Christmas!!! =D)

dancebythelight said...

Beautiful, Kelly. We are on the same wave length . . .

togetherforgood said...

I know exactly what you mean. Thank you for sharing this today.

emily said...

"but He knows what I cannot imagine" thankful I am for that.

Alison said...

I love the line, "and ask with open hands." Don't you love that God lets us do that?!!

Get Real Girl said...

Thank you for sharing.

Leeann said...

Funny, how miles and life circumstances apart, two people following God can be in the same place. I love you, and thanks for praying...

Esther said...

...i remember living in that swamp, "with open hands" i often wept also...and grew.

Amber@theRunaMuck said...


"I cry a lot
because He doesn't look like what I want."

Me, too.

Invisible God, remind me how to hope.

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