Summer Haiku

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Mottled color patterns
The softness of my blanket,
Spreading shadows on my paper.

At sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, I'd pack a small bundle - blanket, journal, Bible, good book - and trek to my favorite spot on our 25 acres for some being time. It was my dreaming time: I was the heroine who fell asleep and woke to the handsome hero's bemused gaze; I was the girl who sang the prettiest songs in the musical; I was the only one in my world and God was so available to hear my plans and questions about the future.

Sometimes I tried to read or write, but I never got anywhere. The feel of the breeze and the warmth of the sun distracted my focus. I would rather have listened to the birdsongs as I lay on my back, looking up at jeweled blue through the golden green of the summer trees above me.

I was a poet then. Finding that poet now challenges my grown-up perceptions as I grope for words I didn't realize I knew then. I hope for originality that seems lost to me. It seems there is always someone who thinks what I think better than I think it. (This is a recurring theme in my writing, isn't it?)

When I look up to point my daughter to the sky through the trees, I can't help remembering just a little who I was when I was younger, when the world was all mine for the dreaming. When composing haiku about sunshadows on paper I should have been filling with words was a worthy accomplishment. When I was curious and unafraid of what good plan God must have for me.

Trusting Him, I meet that poet again. I am freed to dream, to be, to be pursued by Him in this, His story about me and Him. There are dreams I dreamed as a child that never came true, and dreams I dream now that will likely never come true. But as I gaze at jeweled blue through whispering tree-tops, the words sneak in, like sun and shadows on my paper, and curious, I write them down and wonder what His good plan for me must be.

(image from sxc)


dancebythelight said...

Sounds like me, at that age. I miss being able to escape, in that way.

Trinity Mommy said...

I am thrilled to have found your blog! This "was" me and somehow life happened and the "me" became harder to find! My Papa continues to reveal what is inside this heart of mine!

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