Parenting on Purpose: My Labor of Love

Sunday, August 23, 2009

For months, I'd been dreading this. For weeks, I'd been trying to put it off. But now it was time. Forty weeks and three days and a walk in the warm July sunshine brought contractions fast, coming one on top of another.

I was learning to breathe as I'd never breathed, and my breathing became a moaning song. There was no room for fear, no other goal but passing through these five hours of promised pain. In seven relieving pushes, one beautiful squirming dream emerged into my world with a tiny cry of surprise and I held life in my arms.

I passed into motherhood knowing I would fail sometimes, but I was unprepared for the challenges I would face. Piper found more personality than most babies her age. Too soon, she grasped her own identity and became more than I thought she was, more than I was ready for her to be.

I was advised to set boundaries, to let her cry it out, to force her to concede my authority over her. But Piper wouldn't be controlled. She completely panicked if we tried to make her cry it out. Spankings were irrelevant and counterproductive.

Something was wrong...


Read more of my most recent article at Ungrind.


Alison said...

loved the article! And it's next on my list to read--thank you so much!

Carrie said...

Loved your article - the book sounds really good. I've been doing a LOT of research lately about attachment parenting, because it seems to fit my lifestyle & beliefs about parenting more than some Christian parenting books I've read that tend to be more authoritarian in their approach. It sounds like this book would be right up my alley & have the Christian perspective also (most attachment parenting books are not Christian-based, except Dr. Sears work).

Carrie said...

I do have on question, if you don't want to get into it, you can ignore it, or just email me privately, but do you spank? We do, and I do believe that when it's done in a loving manner, it can be effective, but I just wondered if you did or not. I'm always going through these 'crises' in my parenting, whether I should spank or not...what my 'philosophy' is...seems like I'm starting to go through another one now. :)

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

Carrie, even this book doesn't say we shouldn't spank. What we've learned with Piper is that every time is another time for us to look at God and go, "NOW what?" All of parenting, including discipline, is really Spirit-led, brought about by the love we know first from God, given to us to love our children as He loves us. We do spank Pip, but we don't spank her without making certain she knows why she's getting spanked. Which means sitting through her irrationality at times.

I guess it's all just a day at a time, right?

Anonymous said...

Wonderful article, Kelly!

Carrie said...

Thank you for answering my question, Kelly - can't wait to check out this book! :)

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