One Unbroken Gaze - A Prayer

Friday, September 25, 2009

what a week I have lived, trying
since Sunday-success to make up lost time
like running the wrong direction
on an automated, forward-moving walkway, missing

love waiting for me, begging for my heart.

"there is too much to do," I say, "just
give me a minute more" and the minutes fly as
I get no further from where I began

And the trying is more than I can do so
I go away from grace and find me

with baby and with tears and with
disappointed expectations.

So I confess, and Love holds me free as
I ache down from my own pedestal,

still again in uncertainty
certain He is more than my need, more than my
limited gaze may see, that
trailing bit of God-Glory

Then I see Him, laughing, joyful
tried in every way as I have been, in all ways
common to me, even bearing my heart-wounds
as God's heart broke.

"It is too much," I offer, unsure
of tomorrow-work, too afraid I am not doing
my part
to hold up His end of the bargain

Then, "I will finish the work I began,"
His joy grabs breath, for
He is alive

in my waiting.

I ask for so little, I think, but
He has more for me than
adequate situations that suit my

and I am mere living sacrifice,
my life a prayer,
His song

about what my Author is doing today as He
moves my terminal-walkway toward
His heart

so I can fly.

NOTE: I don't often watch or use artwork that portrays someone's impression of Jesus, but I decided to make a rare exception for this video today. Sometimes, it is only the Incarnation that reminds me that the God of the universe loves me, that He knows what it is to be bound by time after living eternal outside time, that ache of His created-image in me.

There were elements of this video that really touched me in conjunction with the song, Vicky Beeching's Captivated, that really spoke to me of Jesus' humanity, that gave me a small picture of the sort of Man He was, that painted a picture of how He must have affected His friends. I stare with them, half-wishing I had been there with Him then, grasping driving-down-the-road faith that brought me to quiet-praise yesterday as I got out of the house for a bit.


FaithBarista Bonnie said...

Then, "I will finish the work I began," His joy grabs breath, for
He is alive.

Beautiful, Kelly. This just grabbed my breath. You are a poet for God.

Hope you have a restful weekend! How's baby?

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

Awh Bonnie, thanks!

Baby is busy busy busy and getting bigger - running out of clothing to wear for the next three months.

lol - Ending a pregnancy after a third trimester is such a mixed blessing - you are SO ready to give birth it's not funny, but your nice earlier memories of pregnancy get lost in the dealing-with-your-baby-bulk esteem issues... ;-)

Cassandra Frear said...

Flying sounds good.

I just need my parachute and helmet.

Be back in a sec!

Maureen said...

Your writing is God's gift to you, Kelly.


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