Friday, September 18, 2009
I am aware that there are many sides to me. I think I don't intentionally put one side away and choose to live out of the others - it just happens, dependent on my mood, the weather, the color I am wearing on a given day...
I am not always so introspective as I have found myself here recently. Introspection works for poetry; poetry seems merely to romanticize any description of the dailiness of my life, leaving out the gritty noise and mess of it all. I suppose if I were a better poet, I could figure out a way to include that in my writing or my prose, but when I sit down to write, I'm looking to share something beautiful, and finding the beauty to write reminds me that my life is not all noise and mess and tired.
My third trimester began yesterday. I think I am as pregnant as I want to be this time. I made a day of the gloom on Monday, trying to figure out whether I wanted any more children, ever, deciding that yes, I do, but please, I don't want to be pregnant again. I argue that I miss my figure, but I really haven't looked at myself in about two years to notice whether it's here or gone. I enjoyed a shallow-ish self-pity session, voices and annoyances hosted free with embarrassment to go.
(In my defense, my baby-boy pregnancy has been more difficult than my baby-girl pregnancy, and I haven't been sleeping so well in recent weeks. Anyone knows that a lack of sleep puts a different spin on just about everything.)
As you can see, Button has grown. He has a name now, and a personality that makes me wonder if he won't be even busier than his sister. I am hoping his almost-constant interaction with us means that he will want to meet us sooner, rather than later.
Piper keeps me busy during the day, making her messes, chattering away. I am "Momp" to her now, and she enjoys tea parties with the cats whose names she has finally learned to use against them as she chides them for doing what they shouldn't.
She is learning manners, too, "Peeze" and "Thank you!" and "Smee me," her version of Excuse me. Last week at my parents' house, I discovered just what a little parrot she has become, as my dad was holding her while destroying a small stump in the goat pasture that my youngest brother had just tripped over. Piper clung to "G-pah" for dear life and grunted out viciously at the offending stump, "Dumb stump!"
I am glad to be home this week, amazed that Friday is already here. I'm finding myself searching the trees for signs of color that likely won't appear for a good month yet, assuming we receive some sunny days with the cooling nights. It is hard to believe we have been here a year already, that we have survived the Southern summer, that soon the outdoors will welcome us again, instead of trying to suck the life out of us.
RECOMMENDED: Check out this beautiful post from one of my bestish friends, Heidi, over at Fresh Brew, the Ungrind blog!
SHOUT-OUT: For a fun shot at a book giveaway about slowing down a fast-lane life, check out Amber's blog!
ALSO: My blog friend Emily has written about a new way to send aid to needy people in third-world countries.
AND on THAT note: Do you have a favorite charity/ministry to add to this Christmas list?
(Images © Informal Moments Photography)