dream on the slow-track

Monday, October 26, 2009

The last few years have been up-and-down years for my photography dream. One day I have been positive "I can do this" - the next, all of the impossibles rear their heads and slap me down. Impossibles named Piper, post-processing, Button, toddlers, health, time, inability to shoot what I want to shoot, equipment... The list seems endless most days.

As I've been burying myself in post-processing recently, trying to get my 2009 clients their photos before my second baby comes, I haven't been able to keep myself from dreaming. How can I just put it away and never shoot another wedding, engage in the beauty of another girl's day, push myself higher and further than I think I can go? I quaver between despair and exultation as I see the transformation of my own work from unprocessed raw to beautiful retouched.

I look at other photographers' websites and dream, finding motivation to push just a little further, tweak a little more precisely, be a bit more professional, hold my standard a bit higher.

But two kids? My mom (who had eight of us) tells me not to bother prioritizing time for myself when I have kids. The logic escapes. I look at God and I beg His help to finish what I have to do, to invest in the little hearts that need me more than the responsibility that hasn't allowed me to develop my own wedding photos.

Pete wants to make a way for me to do this, because I come alive when I am shooting, seeing, captivated. So we talk possibilities and abilities and inevitabilities and conclude that if we're willing to wait and plan and pray and take things very slow, we just might be able to make this work.

So I have some ideas up my sleeve for presenting my photos and my work, raising my prices to accommodate out-sourcing my post-processing, building my Charleston location portfolio, making time for my family. The dream doesn't die, and we're welcoming another life into it in December.

I'm sure I'll explain more later, but I have been feeling so encouraged, I just had to share a little.

I'm sending a call to any former photography clients who read my blog - do you have any feedback for me to post, any recommendations for my future clients? Just drop me an email if you do - I'd love to hear from you anyway!

(Image © Informal Moments Photography)


Traci Michele said...

Hey Kelly.... way to get motivated. It will all come, with time. Kiss those babes, cherish each day, thank God for all He does.

I look forward to what you have "up your sleeve"!


tahni candelaria said...

thanks for sharing this, this post resonates with me in the ways that it can. though i'm at a different stage of life, i feel really similar things and have similar thoughts and dreams.

the Joneses said...

Do NOT abandon that dream. MAKE TIME FOR IT. Even if it's not as much as you'd like to do right now, don't lose it. Pete's absolutely right. I stopped writing for about three years when my first babies came, and lost Sara for a while. Now Darren helps me make time to write. It's even more fulfilling now when I create something -- even just a blog post I'm proud of -- because it takes so much more effort to do it.

Don't give it up!

-- SJ

L.L. Barkat said...

Mmmm... life has seasons, yes? And sometimes we are surprised by how two things can converge within one time and sometimes we are saddened when they cannot.

Hoping you find your way, or at least find contentment along the way...

Maureen said...

I send you this blessing. "To Come Home to Yourself", by John O'Donohue:

May all that is unforgiven in you
Be released.

May your fears yield
Their deepest tranquillities.

May all that is unlived in you
Blossom into a future
Graced with love.

Laura said...

I will be praying for these "ideas" to yield much fruit. Your gift must be shared! The beauty you capture...it just blesses my socks off.

Susan said...

Your photos are amazing... I look at them sometimes and wish I could just get half of that! I'm glad that you're not going to put it down and Pete is a wonderful husband to be encouraging you. Tj has encouraged me just in taking the pictures of our children because he knows it's something that I love to do.
Oh, and the picture of Piper licking the table totally cracks me up. :)

Danielle said...

I'm glad you're inspired to continue with photography. It made me so sad to think you'd put it away for a while.

Every person must pray and decide what's best for them in whatever season they're in. And hopefully, the decision can be made as a couple in full agreement with each other.

That being said, I do think it's important for women to prioritize time to do things they love and honor God with their talents. Not to the detriment of their families, of course, but time, just the same. Like Sara said, it might look different than you imagined in this season of babyhood, but still . . . You'll have lots inspiration with a new little one!

A question: do you ever feel pulled between writing and photography? I do. I was just wondering because I know lots of writers and lots of photographers, but few who do both.

And also, have you ever seen my friend Megan's photography? I think you may enjoy it for inspiration. She has 4 kiddos and started her business about two years ago. Her portfolio is www.meganrussellphotography.com if you want to take a look.

T. J. Knowlton said...

I encourage you by saying that the God of heaven specializes in dreams, in the impossible. You have a gift and He blesses those gifts from Him. I look forward to more news on this.

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