Monday, October 26, 2009
The last few years have been up-and-down years for my photography dream. One day I have been positive "I can do this" - the next, all of the impossibles rear their heads and slap me down. Impossibles named Piper, post-processing, Button, toddlers, health, time, inability to shoot what I want to shoot, equipment... The list seems endless most days.
As I've been burying myself in post-processing recently, trying to get my 2009 clients their photos before my second baby comes, I haven't been able to keep myself from dreaming. How can I just put it away and never shoot another wedding, engage in the beauty of another girl's day, push myself higher and further than I think I can go? I quaver between despair and exultation as I see the transformation of my own work from unprocessed raw to beautiful retouched.
I look at other photographers' websites and dream, finding motivation to push just a little further, tweak a little more precisely, be a bit more professional, hold my standard a bit higher.
But two kids? My mom (who had eight of us) tells me not to bother prioritizing time for myself when I have kids. The logic escapes. I look at God and I beg His help to finish what I have to do, to invest in the little hearts that need me more than the responsibility that hasn't allowed me to develop my own wedding photos.
Pete wants to make a way for me to do this, because I come alive when I am shooting, seeing, captivated. So we talk possibilities and abilities and inevitabilities and conclude that if we're willing to wait and plan and pray and take things very slow, we just might be able to make this work.
So I have some ideas up my sleeve for presenting my photos and my work, raising my prices to accommodate out-sourcing my post-processing, building my Charleston location portfolio, making time for my family. The dream doesn't die, and we're welcoming another life into it in December.
I'm sure I'll explain more later, but I have been feeling so encouraged, I just had to share a little.
I'm sending a call to any former photography clients who read my blog - do you have any feedback for me to post, any recommendations for my future clients? Just drop me an email if you do - I'd love to hear from you anyway!
(Image © Informal Moments Photography)