this grace

Friday, October 2, 2009

It seemed at times there was never a chance at grace, really. "Saved" from one right way into a different, higher right, the true way, the "straight-and-narrow" (which turned out to be wider than many imagined, because it took no work of the Spirit to get there). Just worldview and logic and argument and a good act that wasn't quite an act because it was sincerely lived and believed.

Of course it involved pride-breaking, admitting to disagreeing perspective, trading old perspective for new pride, safety, control - but never true God-humility, that broken, contrite heart-sacrifice where grace-growth is born at the feet of God - no, at the end of His extended scepter.

And so they inflicted the same wounds they received, because the wounds were never identified, treated, healed, never broken open and bled out to mingle with the blood of the One who already bore them in His own body. Instead, pain was covered over with answers and empty God-explanations no one can really be serious about making, no matter how sincere they intend to be.

The meeting was essential for accountability, but most always He was late to arrive, as if He was putting off His visits, salvaging His Name for something holier, something Truer, wishing to introduce Himself as who He was, I AM, the beginning and the end of life-grace breathed from His own God-nostrils into the dust of His Son, into His Spirit meant to hold His own for Him until the day of Redemption.

And that was it - there wasn't a chance outside of Him for grace, no breath without Gospel that is Jesus Christ crucified and alive and full of grace and Truth. Not a chance outside of God-given faith that could not be dredged up or imitated, for who really has faith in a certain Hope these days, when it doesn't hold a certain requested result?

No one has grace for this but Him, for yet a little while, as He is finishing the work He began, spilling over God-patience into the Love that He is and out onto His Chosen who sometimes think they are doing Him a favor with all their good intentions.

For He knows what is not yet seen in His Spirit, that grace and good works and true love is found in knowing Him, and that way is narrow, and discovered rarely without Spirit-help as He reveals I Am to those who think they already are.

I lived here once, and I have been given this grace to not know and this grace to know now.

But the living there...


Also visit Amber and L.L. Barkat for a bit more on grace and a giveaway...

(Image © Informal Moments Photography)


Laura said...


"...but never true God-humility, that broken, contrite heart-sacrifice where grace-growth is born at the feet of God..."

I recognize this. And, oh, how it hurt. But yes, it is where grace-growth is born.

Angela Fehr said...

I've been learning this this least, it's finally been recognized in my life after 32 years. It's a beautiful contradiction, that knowing and not-knowing.

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