Jesus for My Children

Monday, January 18, 2010


He makes my small hands look large with his tiny.

Sometimes he looks up at me when I'm doing something or saying something, and I look down and catch his wide-eyed wonder.

And he smiles. Just for me right now. Goofy smiles for giggling. Happy smiles for flying. "I want to stay up smiles" that come by night-light late when I'd much rather be sleeping than rocking. Smiles that make me feel so loved when he meets my eyes as if he is talking to me, sharing his little happy heart.

I think he likes me.

This amazes me.

Already he is growing. Already his skin is losing that new-baby softness. Already his weak is stronger, his eyes are brighter, his voice is louder.

My heart is planting dreams, hoping stories for my children, for our family, praying laughter and conversation and silliness and dancing and happy and together-growth. I picture my children talking to each other, saying one another's names.

Names that we chose for them...

I imagine Piper's first crush, Bredon's first ballgame, girls' night out, boys' time...

I think we should get a dog. A family needs a dog. That would really annoy our house cats. They would so deserve it.

How will I talk about Jesus with my children? I am only beginning to learn. If you ask Piper who made her, half the time her answer is "Mickey Mouse."

She is a silly.

We read to them before we go to bed. We go to bed at the same time right now, with Piper needing her normal and Bredon up late with evening colic.

I want them to know about God. To know how He makes me who I am, who I don't realize I am until I think about it.

I realize it takes courage to stand in Jesus and say "I am human; I am justified. I am dead to sin and alive to God now." I have been gaining that courage to live so free.

I feel so very young sometimes. So unready to be the mother that I am now.

I notice my hands as I hold my children.

They don't know how small I feel. They don't know that I am only me for them because of Jesus loving me.

I think sharing that love with them doesn't have to frighten me. It is just His bigger hand on my tiny.

Every day I pray for grace.





(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

12 comments:

Shelli @ Hopefully Devoted said...

Beautiful.

Danielle said...

Beautifully said. I know what you mean.

nAncY said...

to see the love in this is wonderful.

togetherforgood said...

I think sharing that love with them doesn't have to frighten me. It is just His bigger hand on my tiny.


Yes.

Becky@ Daily On My Way To Heaven said...

Oh...breathless...

We are on the same journey...daily.

Becky.

sarah said...

I know just what you mean.

Maureen said...

The love of a child is so pure; it can only be His love being sent back to us to wonder at daily.

Corinne said...

This was gorgeous...
I remember how those little hands and feet feel, that's what keeps me going as they get bigger. That they were once tiny, and we all survived each other as they grew :)

Bonnie Gray said...

I love the feel of your writing - like a lens focusing on what your heart feels. Even though my baby is 10 months & growing - when I hold him, he still feels small and new.

Mary said...

So beautiful Kelly. Grace, grace, grace. May it rain down upon you and those you love.
Blessings and Grace...

Susan said...

I can so relate to this Kelly. You have such a way with words! Thanks for sharing.

Carrie said...

Oh, Kelly, I completely understand. I know, Z & I read Bible stories, but he always looks at the pictures & asks, 'Dat God?' so I know he doesn't get it. :) It is such an overwhelming responsibility!!!

Bredon is completely adorable. Thank you for your comment on my blog about the 'mommy time' for Zachary - but please don't feel like I am doing all that you're doing and more, because I'm not. Natalie is the absolute easiest baby ever- she just does not HAVE fussy times, and if she does, just holding or wearing her quiets her immediately. And she naps well in her bed or swing which gives me time to have just for Zachary. So I am thankful for that, but I know that you have it MUCH harder than I do. For Bredon's fussy/colicky times, I can recommend a book - it's called The Happiest Baby on the Block, by Dr. Karp, and it has strategies to calm fussy babies - I planned on using it with Natalie, and I have used some of them occasionally, but if she were colicky I would use them much more, I'm sure - they really work. (oh, and if you buy it, get the calming CD that goes with it, too - there are womb sounds on there that really calm Natalie down quickly. Praying for you, Kelly!!!

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