Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I know I promised a post about Adam today, but I'm tired and uninspired this morning, and I'm on my husband's laptop because my computer's graphics card decided to take a break this week and I can't even process the photos I took the other day to help me feel better after the both-kids-screaming-at-me-while-I-make-the-bed incident.
So you get a sunset that actually propelled me OUT of my parents' house a week after Bredon's birth, a little bit of my homesick, and some "this is where I am today" thoughts.
Pete's parents are in town, and they sat with the kids for an hour or so last night so Pete and I could run to the drugstore and get a nasal aspirator (we got two - one of them didn't end up working anyway - who makes these things, I'd like to know?). We ended up talking for a bit in the car too. It was the first quiet non-kids moment we've had in weeks.
So I shed a few tears that weren't into a pillow or aimed at the ceiling or buried under the covers after everyone was asleep, and asked my husband the God-questions that have been following me around over the last few days, and we went inside feeling like we needed hours more to begin to touch and share and resolve the range of emotion we're both living in right now.
We're such quality time people. Kids don't make much room for that.
The tired is winning right now. Pete's parents are wanting to offer a needed break; they're taking Piper out for a while today. I think it is a God thing.
Right now, she wants Daddy, and he's gone to work. And Mom is not an acceptable substitute. But she'll take ketchup with those sausages.
I am so thankful for the sunshine in our house this week. It helps me feel alive, makes me notice beautiful I would otherwise miss. Makes me miss being able to do anything with my photos post-shoot right now!
I've got a feeling there may be a lot of days like this, when I lose touch with my profound (oh! look at that ego - I consider myself profound??!?), and write from my human. I read somewhere once that being human is the best basis for relationship with God - it lets Him be God, defines my incredible need for Him.
Need I've got figured out. There's a lot of that around here. The question now is "how big is God?" I'm still working on how He relates to me. Hence the continuing meditation on Immanuel. And on the lilies and the sparrows...
And now the littlest one is up, and my time here is up. Enjoy the sunset - I hope it takes your breath away too!
(Image © Informal Moments Photography)