Awake, my soul!5:30 a.m. Piper spent all of 20 minutes in her own bed last night. I woke for good an hour ago, unable to return to sleep with baby on the outside, baby on the inside.
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
- Ps. 57:8,10
I've much to accomplish through the worn edges of my consciousness today, tomorrow. This is the first time I've attempted processing all of my weddings at once. In a way, it does reduce the stress levels of "oh my, I have this many waiting in the wings," but my emotional journey back through the photos draws strength I'm not certain I have to give.
Give it I must, though. For Pete. For Piper, for Button. For my clients who are not simply clients but friends who gave me a chance and didn't plan on a four-month no-computer delay on my end for an unexpected first trimester foray into nausea.
I think I want to be as awake as this Psalm implies, ready to wake the dawn. I am not; I own a fuzzy concept of it all in this pre-dawn hour, knowing what I know of God, a little unsure of how I ought to interact with Him today. I guess, like any relationship, this one too has an ebb and flow, a level of trust that allows freedom to be who we are without molding the other to our will. (Well, if you don't count the work of the Spirit transforming my mind so that I think and feel and act and react more like Him. What a mystery, this sanctification!)
Sometimes, I look at who He is and say, "Well, that's You," and leave it without trying to figure out the why behind the Who, the "I Am." I sit down beneath His shadow, ponder Him, accept that He is more than I can fathom. Indescribable, uncontainable, eternal, and yet so near...
My flesh and my heart may fail,-----------------------------
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.
- Ps. 73:26, 28
A wish and a prayer for His nearness from Laure at Selah...
See also this more for drawing near from Bonnie at Faith Barista...
(Image © Informal Moments Photography)