Under Grace

Tuesday, November 17, 2009


Growing in Grace

Does "growing in grace" mean that I am to grow in my understanding of grace, or does it mean that I am to grow up into Christ covered by grace? Perhaps it's both, for growing in my understanding of grace is essential to releasing myself into it for God to complete His work, perfecting in me the image of His Son.
Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless; and consider that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation—as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you, as also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures.

You therefore, beloved, since you know this beforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.


- 2 Peter 3:14-18

To Him Be the Glory

Sometimes I wonder what effect my choices really have on what God thinks of me. I don't think He needs me to be one way or another - after all, I didn't choose Him - He chose me. Not only did He choose me, He called me out for His own glory, just as He did not call others out for His own glory.

Pete and I have been reading through Genesis with Piper before bed. She's not really interested yet - Abraham and Isaac and Jacob are right up there with Mickey Mouse and Curious George in her estimation. While she may not be engaged, her parents have been talking a bit about the lives of these three men.

Abraham had a relationship in which he walked with God. Isaac seemed to do okay without thinking much about it. Then there was Jacob, who really was a scumbag when Esau appeared to have a sense of honor. Yet God said elsewhere, "Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated."

Why would God choose a deceiver like Jacob? Why would He appear as an anonymous man and wrestle with him, tell Jacob he had prevailed against God and man, bless him and care for him, even though he was pretty self-focused and disinterested in relationship with God, except when he needed Him?


A Relational Center


When I was growing up, I asked my dad what made us different from other people who believed in God - what set us apart from the "religious" and authenticated our faith? His answer, "We have a personal relationship with the Lord."

I know now that is a more radical concept than I believed then. Even people who talk about "personal relationship" are too often focused on a legalized approach to "right and wrong" without considering our Helper, the Holy Spirit, sent for us after Jesus' return to heaven. So many churches I have attended preach right and wrong, simply assuming God-relationship. But the insidious fact of this legalism is the neglect of the Gospel, and the Gospel is everything.

The whole point of Jesus' Cross-work was to reconcile us for relationship with God. This relationship is made possible by His Spirit, speaking to us the mind of the Father, teaching us eternal things Jesus didn't have time to teach in His short ministry here on earth.

Too many times, I have wasted spirit-energy in self-searching instead of trusting God to search my heart as only He can do. Too many times, I have trolled down a do/don't list that tells me how to make God happy with me instead of reconciling myself dead to sin and alive to God.

Too many times, I have overlooked the fact that I have been crucified with Christ. Instead, I choose to wear a sin-cloak that is no longer mine to wear, thinking that I can get light out of an LED flashlight I'm throwing randomly around in the dark.


What Shall We Say, Then?

The choice that is left to me is not simply right or wrong. It is life or death. If I believe Jesus, I may choose to consider myself dead to sin and alive to God, or I may choose to subject myself again to a yoke of bondage.

God has much to do in me yet, but He knows and remembers what I often forget in my sincere but sometimes-too-pressured desire to please Him - that I am dust. That my dust cannot handle all of His Godness at once.

I need to grow beneath the shelter of Christ-grace: my death His, my sin His, His righteousness mine, His life mine. Even my faith is not of myself - it is the gift of God - and why should He have chosen to bestow it on me?





(Images © Informal Moments Photography)

Remember: Memorizing Him

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


I became ill during my second year of college. The Lyme disease cloaked itself as MS, attacking my nervous system, installing lesions in my brain and spine, offering brain fog for memory, collapse for walk-strength.

My grades fell along with me. All I could remember were the things that stirred my heart.

I don't remember what I learned in school that year, but I remember God. I remember how He brought His Word alive to me in the morning hour I spent with my required Bible-reading. I remember encountering His love in Romans, having my concept of freedom blown open in Galatians, finding Christ in Leviticus as the eastern sun shone into my conference room refuge. I read through the book of Mark that summer and wept at its conclusion. That January, I spent five days in the Old Testament, reading it as I would read a novel, amazed at the God who spread Himself across the pages, across the stories, across the years.

Once I had known how to memorize, now God was teaching me to remember. I traded exact wording for heart-phrases I didn't remember learning. My limping heart began to respond to His Spirit, retuning its nerves with my physical nerves, leaving first wheelchair, then cane behind as I learned to walk all over again, using different signals that bypassed the lesions, leaning hard on what I knew of Him.

I still couldn't tell you what someone said to me five minutes ago. I couldn't tell you what I said thirty seconds ago. I can't repeat or quote long passages of anything, reiterate anything I learned for a test.

But I can tell His grace for memory. I can share what I know of His heart, the memories we have created together as He teaches me about walking with Him. My reproduce-words-habit has become memory-habit as He draws me beyond the page into relationship.

The words, like silhouettes against the sunrise, merely frame this incomprehensible Eternal. It is the Word Himself who is printing His image on my heart, and while I too often forget exact words and phrases I wish to remember, He has taught me through the fog to remember His heart.

------------------------


This post also linked at Holy Experience for Walk With Him Wednesday.





(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

The Word - a Meditation on John 1

Thursday, November 5, 2009


In the beginning...

It was the right place to start, the same place the story of our being had begun when Moses had written it long before. But his story was different. It was about the world, but it wasn't. It was about a Man, the God-Man whose love he had known.

In the beginning was the Word...

The Word, a Person, not inscribed on any page, inscribed on every page, 33 years and eons of being that would never be written, for all the volumes in all the world could not contain Him.

The Word was with God, and the Word was God...

I imagine his pen, pausing over the scratched-ink words he'd written, imagining his Friend at the beginning, spinning world and universe and tree and flower and heart in His image, sense his wonder as he repeats himself:

He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.

Telling His story, telling our story, the part we didn't know from Moses' telling, the redemption planned from the very foundation of the world, set from the beginning of time, the defeat of Satan before he ever deceived Eve, drew Adam into sin.

In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it.

As he wrote, searing pain at what he had seen mingled with joyful incredulity, sunset and sunrise at once, beginning and end tangled up in I Am, Alpha and Omega, incarnation and Resurrection, the Son of Man who was God who was Life and Light, who was his Friend, Jesus.

He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.

Spirit-born again into God-inheritance, drawn by something higher than reason, redemption greater than the fulfillment of the Law - the words flowed faster now, passion-driven, aching with understanding that had seemingly dawned too late for him.

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth... And of His fullness we have all received, and grace for grace. For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has seen God at any time. The only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.

Breath stopped for just a moment as he penned words Jesus Himself had spoken and realization wakened fresh so that he thought his heart would burst with the aching wonder of what he had seen.

All this time, He, John, had been walking with God.





(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

A Morning Ramble

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

- Ps. 57:8,10
5:30 a.m. Piper spent all of 20 minutes in her own bed last night. I woke for good an hour ago, unable to return to sleep with baby on the outside, baby on the inside.

I've much to accomplish through the worn edges of my consciousness today, tomorrow. This is the first time I've attempted processing all of my weddings at once. In a way, it does reduce the stress levels of "oh my, I have this many waiting in the wings," but my emotional journey back through the photos draws strength I'm not certain I have to give.

Give it I must, though. For Pete. For Piper, for Button. For my clients who are not simply clients but friends who gave me a chance and didn't plan on a four-month no-computer delay on my end for an unexpected first trimester foray into nausea.

I think I want to be as awake as this Psalm implies, ready to wake the dawn. I am not; I own a fuzzy concept of it all in this pre-dawn hour, knowing what I know of God, a little unsure of how I ought to interact with Him today. I guess, like any relationship, this one too has an ebb and flow, a level of trust that allows freedom to be who we are without molding the other to our will. (Well, if you don't count the work of the Spirit transforming my mind so that I think and feel and act and react more like Him. What a mystery, this sanctification!)

Sometimes, I look at who He is and say, "Well, that's You," and leave it without trying to figure out the why behind the Who, the "I Am." I sit down beneath His shadow, ponder Him, accept that He is more than I can fathom. Indescribable, uncontainable, eternal, and yet so near...
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.


- Ps. 73:26, 28
-----------------------------

A wish and a prayer for His nearness from Laure at Selah...

See also this more for drawing near from Bonnie at Faith Barista...





(Image © Informal Moments Photography)

"What, Trust Him?"

Saturday, August 29, 2009

I've been here before, asking Him where He is, why He doesn't change things, why He allows things. I've been here for me, and for strangers, and for people I love.
Why do the nations rage,
And the people plot a vain thing?
The kings of the earth set themselves,
And the rulers take counsel together,
Against the LORD and against His Anointed, saying,
“Let us break Their bonds in pieces
And cast away Their cords from us.”


- Ps. 2:1-3
I know why they rage. I know why I have wanted to set myself against Him as they do. I feel I have some right to demand His acquiescence to my ideas of life, my boxed-God concept of who He is. I weep with it:
LORD, how they have increased who trouble me!
Many are they who rise up against me.
Many are they who say of me,
“There is no help for him in God.”


- Ps. 3:1-2
Why would He let Himself seem so weak? Why must He always work beneath the surface, in ways we cannot know or see or speak or predict or understand? Why does knowing Him hurt so much sometimes?
But You, O LORD, are a shield for me,
My glory and the One who lifts up my head.
I cried to the LORD with my voice,
And He heard me from His holy hill.

- Ps. 3:3-4
A shield to block enemy blows, or a shield for my eyes, to keep me from understanding until all I do understand is that He is God and I am not? He hears; sometimes He does not move when I want Him to move.
I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the LORD sustained me.


- Ps. 3:5
Waking. Still breathing. Still sustained. I almost don't wish to be. I almost wish away His help. The waiting is interminable today. This vortex-reality is only partially mine, a growing horror, crushing helplessness. When anything that can go wrong does go wrong without heavenly intervention, when my eyes have no proof of the salvation-God my heart knows is still good, I breathe hopefully, and then I scream, and I remember.
I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people
Who have set themselves against me all around.

Arise, O LORD;
Save me, O my God!

For You have struck all my enemies on the cheekbone;
You have broken the teeth of the ungodly.
Salvation belongs to the LORD.
Your blessing is upon Your people


- Ps. 3:6-8
And blessing doesn't always look like finished houses and lucrative jobs. It doesn't always look like daring rescues and thornless existence.
How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul,
Having sorrow in my heart daily?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?

Consider and hear me, O LORD my God;
Enlighten my eyes,
Lest I sleep the sleep of death;
Lest my enemy say,
“I have prevailed against him”;
Lest those who trouble me rejoice when I am moved.


- Ps. 13:1-4
Consider and hear. Your reputation is on the line here, God. You clothe lilies. You care for sparrows. Why these daily sorrows, weighing more and more?

So I find my love limited by what I can see. If I was God, I would... but I am not. Eternal God, God with no beginning and no end, He is wise to me, to my ways. I must seem very small and weak to Him, when I am weeping over today unaware of His tomorrow-knowledge.

I would take of His bounty without apology, unconscious of my own offense, too offended by His God-ness, nearly blinded to His compassion for me. I do not want to trust; it is my right to withhold me from Him. Perhaps to punish Him, trick Him, manipulate Him to my perspective.

Yet I am naked without Him to clothe me. I am not so powerful as I wish to be. I'm not enough to sway Him. I am not God.

I practically throw my self up into Him now, "here, take it, You want this?" and I throw my loved ones into Him too, though He has held them all along, working heart-work with His God-patience, revealing Him to them in ways I do not know.
But I have trusted in Your mercy;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
I will sing to the LORD,
Because He has dealt bountifully with me.


- Ps. 13:5-6
My heart shall rejoice. Future tense. More than I can believe in this moment. I will sing to the Lord. Tears and rage and childish petulance falling out into praise of Him. A promise. He will not leave His work in me unfinished.

He does not abandon those He loves. He is near, if I will but be with Him, rest with Him.

Measure His Grace

Friday, July 17, 2009


Pete woke me early this morning. I had asked him to consider waking me around six so I could have a little time for myself, start the day as a morning person again, the way I used to do. That extra hour and a half makes a huge difference on my day. I don't wake up feeling defeated because I missed my early window. I don't resent the sun so much as I normally do for being up hours before I wake.

I've never really been a "quiet time" person. My intentional times with God seem to happen spontaneously - our relationship is pretty dynamic. I suppose you might say I take advantage of His omnipresent access and keep a pretty current line going with Him. Perhaps this is praying without ceasing. Or walking with God. I'd like to think so, anyway.

I pulled my journal out this morning, almost appalled that it has been over a year since I last wrote. I trip over myself in writing sometimes, too afraid of my own embarrassment over what I have written, forgetting that writing is for me a large part of becoming. I wrote five pages today, in small print, with no particular topic or goal, no deep truth to discover. I just dumped the words with pencil onto paper and laid it out. I even wrote a bit of a letter to God, a more coherent prayer than the heaven-aimed emotion I've directed His way lately.

As I wrote, a question surfaced: "Why is so much of life a 'being where we are' as we wait for Him to move in us?"

And I think it is because this is what it is to grow in grace. It is not that I need more grace than I have already in Christ; it is that I wait for His work in my heart knowing how far short I fall, knowing that even in my failure, Jesus completes me so that I may rest in the Lord.

I've been so overwhelmed lately. Every day, I wake up, determined to try again to be a better wife, a better mom, a better person. Most days, I'm so tired, I can barely get through the day, let alone make the investment I want to make in my personal goals. I've been very close to giving up recently. I've wished I didn't have to care about Pete and Piper and Button, wished I didn't have to take care of myself every day, wishing I could just forget about eating another meal, taking another pill, showering, doing anything with my hair, getting dressed.

I am not who I want to be. I am not what I feel I need to be. It is hard for me to fall into grace this way, weak and struggling. I'm embarrassed to present what little I have and hope that it will somehow be enough for Piper to know she is loved, for my husband to know he is loved. I hope God will be able to make something of it, because I am at the end of me, all the time.

Grace that sustains me in my weakness - that is the daily bread for which I long. Most days, I don't get around to asking very coherently. I sometimes think of grace as "time." Time to grow, to be, to struggle, to wonder at the patience of the One who is changing me into His image, perfecting me beneath the covering blood of Jesus.

Sweet gospel that offers such time and rest and grace, that I may know Him even in my weakness and foolish imperfection. It is Life, measured daily in that eternal sphere only my spirit comprehends, that time outside of time where God lives and works and frees and changes me.

And strangely enough, I've been moved to real praise of late, praise that comes from a place in me I didn't create and don't always understand, praise and honor for His Godness, for the transformation He is working in my heart, for the gift of Him He has given to me, for the working of His will and the hope of His return that draws my fears into His Love.

Today, I'm dressed and my daughter is dressed. Our house is picked up, and our beds are made. Breakfast has been made and eaten, and my pills have been taken. Button is happily kicking away at me, hoping I will unbutton my jeans and give the baby more room, I am sure.

I hope to continue my early mornings. I don't want to plan what I will do every day; today I had time to measure His grace. I needed that.

(image from sxc)

Parable

Friday, February 6, 2009

I found frost in my world this morning. Frost and spring. Frost and light painting the grass and etching with shadows; spring reaching into the cold, cold sky, waking dusted with bits of icy dew, greeting the sun with little explosions of color.


I ramble-posted about community last night, just some thoughts off the top of my head, a little bit of a paragraphical outline to a post that I didn't want to write. But I should know better than to ramble-post. It takes time and love and thought for me to communicate a spiritual point. Time to organize my thoughts, thought to draw my readers' attention ultimately to His face, love that allows me to be open with readers who sometimes don't see beyond the words I say to my heart.

Some of the comments I received about last night's ramble have made me think that I need to take some time to expand my thoughts a bit.

You see, I am finding that the thing that makes community life-giving is a common pursuit, a common knowledge, a common love. C.S. Lewis said that friendship is born at the moment one man says to another, "What! You, too? I thought I was the only one."

I have found this sort of community with other photographers through Flickr, Shutter Sisters, SmugMug, and I ♥ Faces. I have found this sort of community with other moms through blogs and articles and playdates and nurseries. I have found this sort of community with other writers through papers and articles and editing and sharing.

Photographers pursue beauty. They share the same failings and challenges and passion. Moms pursue being good moms and raising good kids. They share the same failings and challenges and passion. Writers seek excellence in communicating their stories. They share the same failings and challenges and passion.

From what I have seen and experienced, Christians pursue what is right. Nearly all of the comments about last night's post went directly for this point - that we need to make sure that what we pursue and believe is right; community then becomes the accountability police force we need to make sure we are safe.

But there is something more to community, and this is where I hoped last night's scattered thoughts might point: the common bond that should be found in a community of believers is a pursuit of the heart of God.

When we are pursuing His heart, HE is our safety. His Spirit has changed me so deeply that I don't even think like me anymore. I look back at the way I thought even five years ago about God, and I am shocked at the changes in my understanding. The Spirit doesn't always speak to me about what I should do, but about who He is. And when I live in the light of who He is, I can't help but pursue His heart. Because He loves me. Because when I don't define Him, He is never the assumed. Because there is always mystery in intimacy, and intimacy in suffering, and suffering in choosing Him over anyone.

Generally (and I do mean generally, there are some specific exceptions), Christians who advocate community are pursuing community itself for community's sake. The pursuit is not God's heart, but rather becomes a safe set of principles and a common understanding that we must all look like X and be together doing X and being X. The emphasis in these communities is too often on teeth-picking and sepulcher-washing.

True spiritual community among the ekklesia is found in the pursuit of His heart, and in the knowledge of Him. What if we do look past what we know of community to see what He will show us about His heart, about the oneness Jesus prayed we would have, that He has with our Father

There will always be those who deliberately and willfully choose sin who will need to be confronted about their sin. God does use the ekklesia to step in when the person is shutting down His convicting Spirit and still claiming to be seeking God.

There was a time in my life when no one believed me when I said "God told me"; I know what He said, and I know what He has done in my heart because I chose Him over the "wise" counsel of my friends and elders. There will always be those who justify themselves by saying "God told me." I don't have to believe them; it is between them and God, and my response to them must be directed by Him.

These are the frost, coating the beautiful spring that will burst forth anyway because He says it is time. These are the frost that isn't destroying the blossom that is already there. These are the frost that will melt away as the sun's light falls across it. Don't fear them. Don't hate them. Don't drive them away. He loves them so much. He wants to draw them to Himself too.

Don't be afraid to trust His Spirit's leading as you listen to His voice calling you to come to Him. He will always lead us to Himself by way of His Son. If the voice you hear does not lead to Christ, it is not worth listening to. He gives us His heart, and then He leads us to His friends. Can you imagine being surrounded by a community of people who look at you and say, "What, you know Him too? I thought I was the only one!"

And the pursuit is all His beauty.

It amazes me how the rest of it all falls away as we enter into Him. If we are focused on His heart, our interactions with others in this community will be focused by His heart. The sepulcher-washing becomes encouragement that others can see His work in us, the commonality of our pursuit of Him will help us know that we are not alone. Confrontation over sin finds its place in His heartbreak as we communicate His heart to the one who is shutting Him down. And hearing His voice becomes an adventure, a joy, an experience to be shared.

Spring dawns with light, and the fragrance spreads.

Dailiness

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

You know how we tend to go through our days and do everything we can to live up to what we're meant to be, what we want to be, what others want us to be, and what God wants us to be? I found a cool word for it last night: "dailiness."

It's funny. We humans have a tendency to try to live every moment as if it's going to be eternal. But time isn't eternal. Moments aren't eternal. I may be good in this moment and horrid in that moment. But neither moment defines the rest of my life, not really.

Something I am learning in waiting on the Lord to do His work in my life is that there are a lot of things in my heart that I can do nothing about. Yesterday and today, it made things icky, but as He works and changes me, I will be more like Him tomorrow. That's hope.

I think human "drama" comes from overemphasizing dailiness. Each moment *must* be lived in the right! We must be perfect in all our ways! The events and actions of our lives must be filtered, lived, conquered, through the lens of time. This means that much is made of things in our daily lives that draw our hearts away from knowing Him. It refocuses our desires on living out the drama to a happy ending instead of waiting on God, on resolving issues rather than hoping for His healing, on taking control instead of trusting Him in our lives and in the lives of others.

Being wisely circumspect means that we remember that God's mercies are new every morning. Each moment is not the end of our lives, and if it is (because our lives are but a moment), we know He still holds tomorrow. We are dust and He is eternal. I think being circumspect means remembering that our perspective on time is very limited. Eternal life is found in knowing an eternal God.

I am not the sum of my habits. I am not the sum of my regrets. I am not the sum of my efforts. I love, love, love that I have been declared righteous in Christ. I love that His Spirit in me is sanctifying me. I love, love, love that as I abide in Him, He abides in me and brings forth His fruit.

Some dailiness is necessary. Piper has drama at me when she realizes that she's on the wrong side of the gate or when she wants something I'm not giving her. We have diapers to change and a house to clean and health issues. We interact with others at varying relationship levels on a daily basis.

But in living the daily, we have an eternal hope and a chance for some inner peace - if we will trust God to be the eternal one in the dailiness of our lives, instead of trying to perfect ourselves from one moment to the next.

Our failure matters less then. What glory comes from His work in us and in those around us belongs to Him.

In five years, I won't be the person that I am today.

God never changes. He is I AM.

(Image from SXC)

Credit or Glory?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

People pray all the time that God will be glorified in something we do. They regularly ascribe glory to Him, saying that He gets glory for some grand thing they've done or promising Him glory if He does something we want Him to do. I think maybe we've confused "glory" with "credit."

And there is a big difference.

In the Greek, "to glorify" means "to cause the dignity and worth of some person or thing to become manifest and acknowledged."

Christ prays in John 17, "Reveal me. Cause my worth to be manifest through what I am about to do."

If He does something we want or need, we give Him credit. Sure, we couldn't have done it without Him.

Yet how much of what we do actually stems from our desire to reveal Him for who He is? How often do we pray with a longing for Him to manifest Himself? Do we really recognize His revelation of Himself in our daily bread? We want to be like Him, but do we really want Him to reveal Himself in us?

Someone painted me a mental picture once, of a bride whose groom chose her dress and her flowers and her hairstyle. He chose her jewelry and her veil and her shoes. All of the music around her, the decorations, and the programs were designed by him, to draw attention to her beauty. When she walked down the aisle, it seemed as if the whole world caught its breath. The whispers could be heard throughout the auditorium: "Look what he has done... she is breathtaking! How beautiful!"

The groom's heart for his bride was revealed in her beauty, and the world could see him for who he was.

I think we try hard to make ourselves "beautiful" for our Lord by giving Him the credit for our efforts. But if we are to glorify Him, He has to reveal Himself in us. We won't even have to redirect the praise. The world will know it is Him.

A Life of Praise

Monday, January 31, 2005

Praise the LORD!
Praise the LORD from the heavens;
Praise Him in the heights!
Praise Him, all His angels;
Praise Him, all His hosts!
Praise Him, sun and moon;
Praise Him, all you stars of light!
Praise Him, you heavens of heavens,
And you waters above the heavens!
Let them praise the name of the LORD,
For He commanded and they were created.
He also established them forever and ever;
He made a decree which shall not pass away.
Praise the LORD from the earth,
You great sea creatures and all the depths;
Fire and hail, snow and clouds;
Stormy wind, fulfilling His word;
Mountains and all hills;
Fruitful trees and all cedars;
Beasts and all cattle;
Creeping things and flying fowl;
Kings of the earth and all peoples;
Princes and all judges of the earth;
Both young men and maidens;
Old men and children.
Let them praise the name of the LORD,
For His name alone is exalted;
His glory is above the earth and heaven.
And He has exalted the horn of His people,
The praise of all His saints--
Of the children of Israel,
A people near to Him.
Praise the LORD!

~Psalm 148~
~~~~~~~~~~~

How can I praise the Lord?

Right now, it feels like my life is spiraling WAY out of my own control, and I'm so afraid to trust the God of the universe, let alone praise Him!

I've been thinking a LOT lately about what it means that Christ came that I might have life, and have it more abundantly. It seems as though all I know to do is to accept His forgiveness when I sin, and keep doing the things that "good Christians" do, and of course I try to give Him the glory for everything that happens in my life.

My boyfriend had a profound observation the other day (he has those often--I love his walk with God!), when we were creating one of my favorite memories ever. We were walking in the falling snow. There was no wind, and it wasn't so cold that I couldn't be out in it without going into convulsions. It was so beautiful! As we ran (yes ran!) and played in the snow, we started noticing anew the beauty of God's creation. At one point, Pete looked at me and told me to breathe. My breath puffed out with a vapor that I could see, and he smiled. "See that? God made that."

He gave us breath. Why is it that so many Psalms cry out, "Let everything that has breath praise the Lord"? Because our life is from Him. Every day we live, every thought we have, everything we do, it's all possible because He sustains us, because He breathed into Adam the breath of life.

But the Psalm I've shared above talks about praising God. How can I praise Him? Do you see the list that is given of those who should praise Him? How do the sun and moon praise Him? How do the stars of light, sea creatures, or fire and hail and mountains praise Him?

"For He commanded, and they were created."

They praise Him by being created. They praise Him by their very existence. This... this I cannot comprehend. Because I go on and see the psalmist adding people to this list: "Kings of the earth and all peoples; Princes and all judges of the earth; Both young men and maidens; Old men and children."

I'm in that list. I'm a maiden. So often, I think that praising God hinges on what I say to Him to lift Him up. Or that glorifying Him must be done through a certain life purpose that I fulfill as mapped out by Him. I try to "do the right thing" because I want to please Him, for "praise from the upright is beautiful."

But do I really praise God, just by existing? Just by enjoying and falling apart with wonder at His beauty around me? Don't I have to offer something?

Hebrews puts it well in 13:14-15:

"For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name."

I can to give thanks, in the will of Jesus Christ, in all of my circumstances. For what? If nothing else, for the breath that He has given me, for His creating me, and making me His new creation. It's such a place to start!

"O Magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His Name together!"

I am just His creation. I have nothing to offer except my life, which is His gift to Me. I live by His command! I want to live each day as fully as I can, with Him, for Him, and through Him. It is by living that I praise Him!